If the King James was good enough for Jesus…
Encounters of a Crazy Kind
Let me start out by saying I really love the King James Version of the Bible. I own several different King James Bibles, and I really think the KJV is a monument of English literature. I also don’t have a problem with people who simply think the KJV is the only Bible that “sounds like the Bible.” My own mother has been one of those people for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, my mom saw a Christmas pageant I was in, and heard the words of a modern translation, “[Mary] became pregnant by the Holy Spirit…” I can still picture my mom saying, “Pregnant! What happened to “with child”?!?” That’s just a matter of preference, isn’t it?
But there’s a darker side to the King James Only movement. And yes, it is a movement. Perhaps you’ve never encountered these people, but I have…numerous times. For several years now, I’ve had a group on Facebook dedicated to discussing the wide variety of Bible translations available, particularly those in the English language. Every so often, someone begins posting rants on that group, telling people about the “corrupt” modern versions of the Bible, calling the modern Bibles “per-versions,” and asserting the God-given status of the King James Bible. And you know what? That’s just crazy. There are plenty of forums online for people who believe the KJV to be the ONLY Bible; why do they have to spread such insanity on my nice little Facebook group?
Or then there was the time when I made the mistake of commenting on a YouTube video wherein a fellow had claimed that anyone can tell all the modern Bibles are rotten, because they screw up the very first verse! Genesis 1:1 in the KJV reads: “In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth…” Familiar, right? Most of the modern versions read something like this: “In the beginning, God greated the heavens and the earth…” (emphasis mine) Did you catch that? “Heavens” is plural! Everyone knows that there’s only one Heaven (with a capital H)! Only one problem, crazy YouTube dude…the word in Hebrew is hashamayim, which means “heavens.” So, all due respect to the KJV, but “heavens” is accurate. When I dared point that out in the comments section on YouTube, the dude responded with something along the lines of: “You’re an idiot, who shouldn’t be allowed to read, let alone teach, the Bible!!!” I smite my forehead just thinking about the incident. I was stupid…stupid for thinking I could talk sense with a King James Onlyist.
And that’s the thing, you can’t talk sense to these people, because they think they’re speaking for God, and so if you disagree with them, you’re basically disagreeing with God. You see how the argument always tends to develop. The KJVO says something crazy, the sensible person says, “Waitaminit, that’s not true.” The KJVO then says, “Oh, so you’re saying God’s wrong? You’re saying God didn’t leave a perfect Bible for His people?!? YOU’RE SAYING YOU’RE A STUPID LIBERAL WHO HATES THE LORD JESUS CHRIST?!?!?” (I may be exaggerating just a little bit, but believe me, I’ve had some online conversations that have developed along very similar lines.)
Anyway, I’ll step down from my soap box now, and go back to reading my modern Bible. And just hope it doesn’t burst into flames in my hands…
